Spatula Samari - Kitten of Virtue

2002-08-14T23:02:00.000-05:00

Right before I begin my entry, I want to again apologize for not keeping up with my blog. The thing is, my life is...

My life is hell.

My family does not respect me. Mother and Father... yes, I know they love me. But respect me? Trust me? No, they don't. I can feel it. I know Mother probably doesn't trust me as she's so paranoid, and believes that I am going to screw my life up somehow, and Father... well, Father was always screwed up. He's done so many things to hurt me, my brother, my mother... but why I even care about THEM... I feel confused and disgusted.

I know I'm complaining. But how my family is... it hurts me. My heart, my soul, my mind. I don't want my life to be driven in this kind of path, because it's going to drive me mad. Or worse, kill my true self. I don't want to change in order to fit their needs. How they want to see me as. I can't become a social freak, or go out more and volunteer at a shelter and such. I'm not like that. I like to draw, to think, to role play, to talk to my online friends... The internet...

It's all because of the internet. My parents don't trust me from that factor. God, if they DID trust me concerning the internet, I wouldn't have this damn time limit. I wouldn't have every single step I take online have to be recorded and shown and torn apart by them. I have made mistakes and done things in the past, such as staying up til two in the morning online. But I won't do that anymore. I won't. But they don't believe me... they don't trust me to change... and it hurts so much.

I'm so glad I have friends. They help me escape. But when my friends can't come to save me... when I feel so alone... I...I really am alone when my friends can't reach out to me. There's only me and my misery. And sometimes my imagination can't break through the barrier and save me... and only threats and bitter words force me out of my sadness.

My Mother makes fun of me on how I react when I'm very emotional. You see, whenever I get hurt physically or emotionally (deeply in that aspect), I don't want others to help me... I want to be left alone. Though deep inside, I DO want help... but not from those who caused the pain. And when my parents try to reach out, I fight back... as I want to be alone from them. And this only makes them more spiteful and hateful and doubtful of me.

For all the things I've done to my friends... I'm so sorry for ever doing such things. For everything that I might had said on the blog which was negative to my friends, I take them back. I would have gone mad if it weren't for my friends... especially Atheria... I really don't want her to leave my life. I hope this Sunday comes soon... she's been out of town for several weeks, and I really miss her...

To my friends whom I may have ever hurt in the past or present - please forgive me. Just please save me when I need you there guys... that's all I ask for. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I'm not perfect, and am such a horrible person in the end... for what I've done to you all.

2002-07-25T23:49:00.000-05:00

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! >.<

Finally! At last! It has arrived! The Escaflowne movie! ^_______^

Wasn't expecting it to come TODAY though... ^^;;; as it's official release was... today. But I had pre-ordered it online from Amazon, so I guess they shipped it out early. LUCKY! ^___^

The only thing is, I have to wait to watch the movie. ^_^; I promised Athy and another friend of mine that I wouldn't watch it 'til they saw it with me... though probably we'll get to view it this weekend. Though in the meantime, I'm just entertaining myself with the soundtrack... which is just kick-ass.... ^_______^

Long live Van-sama! =^_^=

2002-07-12T23:43:00.000-05:00

I know.. I really have been slacking off when it comes to posting in meh blog. @@ It's hard when you're stuck with a freakin' two hour time limit, and you're in several RPGs, and you want to talk with your online friends...

I've had a VERY busy month. Went to Colorado. Going to New York City in less than two weeks. I'll be having a rank exam for my martial arts in that same amount of time. School will be starting in August. I *need* to read those stupid summer books for English, but am too lazy. Want more money. Want more anime. Would like a loving boyfriend in the future, before I turn gray. @_@

...And since I *am* bored, I am going to post my official anime wish list, so I can get presents in the mail someday.. ^^;;;

Virtue's Official Anime Wish List

Ayashi no Ceres (DVD)
*Fushigi Yugi Second Season Boxed Set (DVD)
Lost Universe (DVD)
*Magic Knight Rayearth 2 Boxed Set (DVD)
Neon Genesis Evangelion Boxed Set (DVD)
*Rurouni Kenshin - Battle in the Moonlight (DVD)
*Sailormoon S Heart Collection IV, V, VI (DVD)
Sailormoon SuperS Collection I & II (DVD)
Slayers 1st Season Boxed Set (DVD)
*Trigun Boxed Set (DVD)
Vampire Hunter D - Bloodlust (DVD)
Vampire Princess Miyu (DVD)

* REALLY want

;.; So if you ever find out where I live, send me presents.. though I am *not* planning on giving out my address, foo! >.< Nopenope!

...I'm going to post as Kajitsu now. ^_^ Maybe later I'll make a list of all of my RPG characters. XP

2002-06-24T23:06:00.000-05:00

I act like I'm 16.
This test was brought to you by BLX - Cheap laughs....

HAHAHA! >.< It's true! I both look AND act like I'm 16.. except that most of the time, I'm not as bitchy. ^^;;;

YES! I have money now, and lots of it! Eh no, I'm not filthy rich, if that's what you're thinking. -_- But! I have A LOT! ^____^ Enough to get the Escaflowne Ultimate Movie Edition (DVD), and still be able to buy some other DVD while I'm at it! WHEEO! :D

And yes, I'm feeling better now. =^^=

2002-06-19T23:33:00.000-05:00

Well.. I had a lovely day.

One helluva of a lovely day. So lovely that I want to scream it out to the whole world, and then smack my head with a rock.

And yes, I was being sarcastic.

First off...

Today, we found out the results of auditions for my drama camp. The play we're going to perform is Snow White. And although I got a relatively small part, that didn't upset me. I realized that I could MAKE that small part seem big, and have lots of fun with it. And this time, I'm not being sarcastic. ^_~ However... a lot of the other people WERE upset or pissed at the results. Some now want to quit the drama camp - in a way, I can't blame them, as the parts they did get DO kinda suck. e_e We aren't doing the Disney version of Snow White... though we're not doing the real version of it either.

And if you didn't know that there IS a real version to Snow White, then you have been sheltered. x.x Seriously.

Anyway, one girl ended up crying from the results, so I had to comfort her (she was a new friend I had met at the camp). That really made me feel depressed, but I was able to cheer her up somewhat.

THEN, I had to get Tiffany pissed at me again... *siigh* I feel really frustrated with her right now, and I have mixed feelings. She broke this special hairbrush my grandmother had given to me, along with a few other situations that really hurt my feelings.. *GRUMBLES* I AM mad at her too. And at the same time, I'm getting sick of her hurting my feelings too. Yet at the same time, it's making me all depressed.

Juuuust... DAMMIT! She's admitted to me that she's been jealous of me for so many freakin' reasons (some of which are pointless, because _I_ know that she's better than me in some of those accusations), and I DON'T want that in a friendship. And I still feel as though she isn't over her jealousy yet. I don't want her to be jealous... why, you ask? Because I KNOW that I'm not a perfect person, and that I have a lot of bad traits. But nooooooo.. I'm a "better RPer, a better writer, a more popular person online, etc." I don't have a f*cking clue why she would think that...

*siiigh* I think I'll stop now before I explode.. or inplode. Whatever. ~_~ And I should start posting in this blog when I'm NOT bored or pissed... because I know that people wouldn't want to listen to me complain forever. e.e;

So... I'll make one happy remark to end this post with a happy tone...

.......*thinks*........

Remember to feed the kitten catnip when it's hungry...

There. Now smile, and meow! =^_^=

2002-06-09T17:45:00.000-05:00

Bored.. again. ^^;;

But at least I'm going to start this drama camp tomorrow... it's freakin' cool, and you can act stupid too! ^_____^ Acting stupid can be fuuuuun...

What new update thing should I add... eh... oh! I like Trigun now! XD Only seen the first four episodes (I borrowed the DVD from a friend), but it's so damn funny! My brother even likes it! @_@ And my brother HATES anime... so that's a big accomplishment.

Now I just need to find some cash to get the boxed set.. ^^

2002-05-28T16:14:00.000-05:00

I'm...

BORED!!!

Gyah, boredom is a horrible form of torture! ;.; I can RP, but even then, it still gets to me! And I've already watched all of the Anime DVDs that I borrowed from a friend... so pooh. >< Lesse... what to talk about, to evade this hellish form of pain... erm... well... lesse... there's.....

DAMN! Nothing! -_-

2002-05-25T20:47:00.000-05:00

ARRRG!

Just because I told Dad that I watched Vampire Hunter D - Bloodlust at my friend's house, he thinks I'm turning 'dark', which is 'freaking him out'. (He had seen parts of the first one.. which slightly disturbed him -_-)*grumblegrumble*

..And that was a spur of the moment entry. X.x

2002-05-25T20:26:00.000-05:00

Whee.. I have finally made another entry.

Where have I been these past few weeks? Well m'friends, due to the fact that I blew up at my mother (the issue revolving around my father... -_-), I pretty much pissed her off. And what happened? My AOL account was deleted, and she said that my "online life was over". So for two weeks, I was forced to post at the crappy computers at school, and feel so completely and utterly alone.

But now, I got it back. How? Grades. I got all A's in school... so I pleased 'them'... my parents.

*siigh* Comes with a price, of course. Two hours per day. With some other restrictions... though I really don't wanna talk about it. *koff* Or seem sarcastic the whole time. ;p

Well, I went over to a friend's house... and had FUN. We played video games, and watched Anime. ^_____^ She has lots of Anime stuff there.. enough to crush you if it was put in a bag, and then thrown at you. ^__^ So yah, today was a nice day.

'Til I got home. -_- But I won't get into that; no need to, and it wasn't bad enough to make me scream uncontrollably. X.x;

So, I'm going to try and recover... get an update on my RPG, get reunited with my online friends, and try to enjoy my life.. and the summer... and being a teenager.

Yahoo.

..Dammit, I used sarcasm again! ><;

2002-05-10T22:31:00.000-05:00

Arg... I feel tired, but I don't want to go to sleep just yet... I *want* to talk with online friends... ;_;

It seems as though it's only my parents making life hard now... I guess that could kinda considered good. Why? Well, besides parents, I can handle everything else. School, peers, grades... X.x; I can live through those things now.

But my parents... GAWD! I'm *really* wishing that I was older, so I could go out more... maybe get a job, and WORK, and get my OWN money. -_-;; And not be yelled at for no freakin' reason. AND not have to listen to mom rant on about the war going on, and acting as though I shouldn't trust ANYONE of that ethnic origin, AND all this other crap... @_@

..I'm going to have some iced tea now.. ^_^;;;

2002-05-01T17:15:00.000-05:00

Well, it seems as though this week is suddenly getting better... ^_^

I got to piss off some preps a few days ago.. they deserved it, actually. They were trying to order me around, and JUST by not doing what they said got them irritated.. bwahaha! >.<

Well, I did see the psychotrist (sp) yesterday.. no wait, i've been told that she's a councellor. ~_~ Either way... *shudder* the session went okay, though I really don't want to talk to her again. I feel fine WITHOUT talking to her. And honestly, I'd rather talk to someone closer to my age, and who knows me personally.

...No, I would rather die than go to a peer mediator at my school. @_@;;; My school is just... *gags*

*koff* And for another happy news report, I think I’m did well on the two tests I had to do today… English and… *twitch* Math. X.x

Finally... e.e
I had a really nice dream last night -^____^-. What was it about... eh… er actually, I don't remember (@_@''), but I know that it had to be a nice one, as I woke up feeling empowered, and happy, and such...

Mebbe I had a dream of getting kissed by my crush.. -^_^-...

Wait! THAT was it! @_@;;; Holy freakin' potatoes! That was it!

...Well, I know I'm gonna be in a great mood now... ^_^;

*scampers off to play Oni on PS2 system*

2002-04-27T22:04:00.000-05:00

Sick, sick... SICK.

I'm sick of my parents.

I'm sick of them trapping me like this, where I can't IM, or be online for more than a hour, or even go to my own freakin' RPG. I hate them. I... want them to stop hurting me. They think that just giving me a PS2 game from straight A's will make me a happy child, and where I'd stop going online altogether? It makes no sense. My life makes no sense. I... feel alone. Frustrated, and alone.

*sighs* I really wish that I could be held by someone.. a friend, not a family member. Just someone who'd stay by my side, and listen to me, and accept me...

Someone who I could trust, and know that he or she wouldn't break my heart.

2002-04-22T16:36:00.000-05:00

*continuing from last entry*

For several minutes, no one moved, except for me crying. Then...my parents tried to hug me, and comfort me. I started screaming at them to not touch me, and they drew away. Finally, my dad just suggested that I should go to my room...and I dashed inside. Slamming the door, and throwing myself onto the bed, I just continued sobbing.

Once or twice, my mom tried to talk to me, but I pushed her away. Finally though, I did talk to her, which stopped my sobbing at least. But, during the "talk", I learned a lot about what my mother thought of me..which really, startled me.

She believed (or more like, believes) that if I stayed online all the time, just chatting with online friends, I'd grow up all alone, and eventually commit suicide! That REALLY hurt my feelings for her to think that.

I want to live! I don't want to kill myself, because I know that I have a lot of things I could do in life.But...god, she just wants)me to be more "social".

And no matter how many times I tried to tell her that I didn't want to be a "social-loving-freak", she wouldn't listen to me. She did inform me that I would see our psychorotrist (sp) soon; when, I don't know. *sigh*

Some more things happened later that night, but it's not worth it to speak of them...besides, what has really hurt me happened on the 20th.

I woke up around nine in the morning, and was informed that my five year old cousin was coming over; so, I was given many chores to do. I finished around three 'o clock, and (cautiously), asked if I could go online, as I had finished all of my chores. Mom said I could...but that there were new restrictions placed on my AOL account. I nodded...and then went to log on.

...I now only have one hour per day to be online, before the stupid AOHELL cuts me off. And also, from parental controls, I can't get to my own RPG. But.. that's not the worse part. I...I can't IM anymore. That opinion was killed. Dead. I couldn't talk to my online friends via IM anymore. Suddenly, I started crying, as that hurt me; now, I REALLY felt alone.

However, I won't let that sadness hurt me now; I think I know how to bypass these blocks. 'I think', being the key word. But in the meanwhile... I shall had a happy picture for this entry...because I'm sick of being sad. So...

I GOT THE FIRST SEASON OF FUSHIGI YUGI!!!

...Okay, so that wasn't really what you were expecting (and I probably scared the hell outta someone e.e), but to me, I've practically being willing to steal my soul to get this Anime season, as I've heard it's so good! ^___^ And from the three episodes I've seen so far, it's awesome!

'Course, I'm going to be working at my father's store for the next five Saturdays, five hours per day... at the very least. e.e; Fushigi Yugi isn't cheap, and I had just gotten a previously viewed version.

So, although I can't IM, and I can't get to my RPG at home (I can at school though), I shall head to ancient China, and see the grand adventures of Yuki Miaka, who, very frightfully, resembles me O_o...somewhat.

2002-04-21T17:08:00.000-05:00

I tried to have a good day on the 19th.. but everything went horribly wrong.

Things were beginning to go well at first; relations with Tiffany and me were back to normal, and I had even gotten all A's on my report card. But when my father came home...it started when Mom told me to stain some of our fence; as in put this sticky, protective paint covering on the wood. Around the time that I was pretty much done for the day, Dad got home from work, and offered to take over. I agreed, and tried to wash off the stain stuff on my hands by using the hose. Didn't work so well though.

When I finally gave up on the hose, and walked up to the door to get inside, I realized that I couldn't touch the knob, unless I wanted to get it all sticky and messed up. So obviously, I needed someone else to open it. I saw Mom in the kitchen, so I called out her name, at a normal voice tone at first. She didn't respond, and so I did it again. Still didn't work. I called out her name several times (each time growing louder) and had one time even knocked on the glass to try and get her attention. She didn't hear me. Finally, I screamed VERY loud, and that caught her attention.

But then... Dad started yelling at me, threatening to ground me for being "rude" to Mom. When I tried to explain the situation, he wouldn't give me a chance to speak. Mom at least was able to calm him down, and then he just walked away to continue staining the fence. I kinda felt hurt, but as I tried to walk through the door to get to the bathroom (to take a shower), Mom stopped me, and started getting mad at me. She thought I was going to my room, and told me to wash my hands in the kitchen. I told her that I was just going to take a shower, and then stormed off.

When I reached the bathroom, I closed the door...and then just started crying. I can't help being sensitive; probably one of the worse things someone could do to me is scream at me. My parents yelling at me hurts my insides, and I couldn't hold it back that time. And even while I was taking a shower (the longest one too; at least nearly an hour), I started crying again.

Finally, I finished, and dressed into some PJ's. Then, I just laid on the bed for awhile, trying to listen to some of my Anime music, crying the whole time. I got up for a little wihle to speak with Mom, asking her to tell Dad to stop yelling at me (that wasn't the first time that kind of situation happened). Instead, she started lecturing me on how I should've asked my brother to let me inside (my brother had been in the living room, playing with his PS2, and actually I had called his name once, but he didn't respond). I started getting upset, and just asking her why she never believed me, I went back to my room.

Dinner finally arrived, and after being yelled at by Mom and Dad to stop having an attitude problem, my family and I ate outside (the weather has gotten better, since summer is coming). However, I just stared at my food (pasta) the whole time, while they talked about the normal gossip: our neighbors, and the "war" in the Middle East. Finally, I got up, wanting to leave the table; again, my father threatened to ground me if I went inside, so then, I just stood there. My brother, once he had finished eating, thought that it would be funny to play volleyball with me; to make things blunt, he just threw a ball towards me, though he went after it himself, since I didn't want to "play". Mom and Dad continued talking.

I thought I could have held my emotions back...I had to. Finally, my brother finally, "accidentally", threw the ball over the fence, so he left the backyard to go find it. Slowly, I took my plate from the table, and started to walk inside...only for Dad to once again, threaten to ground me. I didn't respond at first, so finally, Dad suggested that I stay, and "discuss" why I had been so depressed for the last few days (listed in my past entries here). By then, I had walked around the pool in our backyard, and was near a small patch of grass we owned.

"You yell, you apologize. You yell, you apologize. You yell, you apologize." Three times I said that, my voice so quiet, and chokingly bitter. Of course, Mom and Dad didn't understand, and one final time, he threatened to ground me. I...finally couldn't take it anymore...and I snapped.

Blew up. Lost it. That sort of thing. I started screaming at my own parents, telling them to shut up, and that I didn't want to be with them. After screaming, I then collasped to my knees, and sobbed uncontrollably.

...I don't have anymore time to tell what else had happened, so I'll continue it later.

2002-04-18T17:33:00.000-05:00

I went up to Tiffany today. No, I didn't break off our friendship.

All I said was a warning: please improve your attitude, and stop hurting me; if it continues, I really don't think I'd want to continue being your friend anymore. She, quietly, said okay, and then walked off. I don't think things have gotten worse, but it's oging to be some time before things improve. And have I forgiven her? ..I don't know for sure. I feel so confused.

And I'm discovering that a lot of my friends are suffering. Jealously, guilt, betrayal; some say that it's their fault, but I won't believe in that. Most things go wrong from lack of communication...lack of understanding.

Guys, please, all of you; cheer up. Smile. Speak out your feelings. I don't want to see anymore people getting hurt, and I want everyone to be happy. I want the world to smile, and just lighten up. Be happy.. that's all I wish for.

...And I don't want to feel lost, or alone anymore... that's why I really want friends I can trust. And somehow forgive.

2002-04-17T16:37:00.000-05:00

I…feel so lost, so confused.

Why is it that the people whom I trust the most always end up hurting me? Tiffany…why? Why caused you to hurt me like that? What did I do to you? What? What? Are you jealous of me for some reason, again? You said you were in the past, but I thought you had moved on. I thought you were my friend.

It all started today—4th period, Speech class. Not with Tiffany. You see, for some time these other girls in the class have been teasing me about this guy; they kept on taunting him to ask me out. He hadn’t, and I’m sure he didn’t want to. And honestly, I wasn’t…I still am…unsure if I liked him either. However, I needed to know—was he planning on asking me out? If I knew, then at least, I could tell those girls to stop making fun of me.

When the period ended, I confronted him. It took so much courage—I mean, I was terrified before hand. I asked if I could talk to him for a minute, and he said sure.

Then, I asked…”Listen, I know that those girls have been teasing you and I about you asking me out, so, I need to know—were you planning to?” It was asked in that format, though I stuttered a lot more. Either way, I at least asked him.

He said he wasn’t. He was polite about it, and not rude or anything. I said okay, and then we went our ways. No, I didn’t get hurt by that…by him saying he wasn’t. I just felt weird. That weird feeling wouldn’t leave—so I decided to go and talk to Tiffany about it. Tiffany is…or maybe, was?…one of my closest friends. One of my few friends. She knows a lot of my secrets, and how I feel for some things that I wouldn’t want others to know.

The thing is, I thought she would give me advice, or something, just to get rid of the weird feeling I had. I usually look up to friends to cheer me up, or help me with my emotions.

I got the chance to speak with her in 6th period, P.E. Once again, I try to summon up enough courage to talk to her about it; for some reason, I felt kinda reluctant to tell her about what happened. At first, I paused, but I finally blurted it out; I told her what happened.

I stuttered…I always do…I was talking fast as well, as though I was trying to let it all out, everything out. What had happened, and how I felt so weird. She…didn’t really respond at first. I wasn’t expecting that. More like advice, or something. Even just a comment of “Oh well.” However, she did ask, “Did you like him?” I didn’t really respond, and sorta…froze. She said I was blushing, and so assumed that I did. Then she began to walk away.

I don’t know. I DON’T KNOW. Just…I don’t know…

I could understand why she really wouldn’t like this guy—she claimed that he threw sand in her face in 1st grade. But, I didn’t know him then…and he’s so nice. So nice…few guys are nice to me.

I said how he was nice to me and such…and for a moment, she again didn’t respond quickly. But…what she said next…I’ll never forget.

“Just to let you know, maybe it’s not because you like him, but because you want a boyfriend.” Then, she walked away, and left me there, standing. I…sat on the floor for a minute.

At first, I felt nothing. But slowly, what she said, and what those words meant, dawned on me…and suddenly, it began to hurt. *I* began to hurt. She must’ve meant that I was desperate enough to be willing to go out with any guy? Was that it? She, my best friend, said this to me. Pain…it really hurt.

Betrayal…that word could fit for how I felt…how I’m feeling.

When my eyes began to water, I went over to the mats, and laid there, thinking, and trying to hold back the tears. Then, ironically, Tiffany came over, and sat next to me. She tried to talk to me, as though she hadn’t said that statement. When I didn’t really talk to her in return, she asked, “What’s wrong?”

What’s wrong? Oh nothing, besides the fact that you slapped me in the face…that’s what I said. I was speaking in a metaphorical tone, but she began to freak out, and scream at me about when she could’ve slapped me. She thought I meant it literally. And then it hit me…maybe she didn’t even REALIZE it. That possibly saying that would’ve hurt my feelings. So was she some ignorant, selfish…no, I don’t want to insult her with foul names. Not…yet. Not now.

In response, I said, “What YOU said to me really hurt me, you know,” and then, I walked away. She STILL didn’t get it.

I sat on some other mats, some distance away from her; I just didn’t want to talk to her anymore. For a few minutes, I just sat there…until then…I didn’t want to hold IT back anymore. I walked into the locker room, locked myself in a toilet stall…and cried.

It hurts. Past tense, present tense, future tense; it hurts. I just said there, on the toilet seat, hugging my knees, crying. Having someone you trust say that just hurts my insides. I just want to crawl to a corner, curl up, and die. I felt so alone…so utterly alone.

After awhile, I walked out of the locker room, grabbed some paper, and sat down. I wanted to write out my feelings. And now, just to type it in my blog. However…Tiffany came over again, and then asked how long I was going to be mad at her. Did she realize what she had said then? At that time, I really didn’t care. I calmly, politely asked to be left alone. She then walked off, grumbling on how I’ll probably be mad at her for a year. P.E. ended, and I went to French…

What am I suppose to do? How am I suppose to forgive her? Should I EVEN forgive her? Just…she’s gotten me upset/mad before, and I’ve forgiven her after awhile. But…it’s never hurt me so much.

I’m going to think hard—is it worth it? Having her as a friend? When she hurts me feeling so much? I don’t know…I just feel alone. Sick, and alone.

2002-04-16T17:02:00.000-05:00

"The classrooms are Hell, outside is Heaven, and the hallways are Purgatory."

A statement made by a friend at school.. damn, I don't remember his name, but that really isn't important. School IS Hell. Being given a 68 question-filled math test, which is taken by every single freakin' 8th grader in Texas is NOT fun; it's exhausting, and utterly stupid. Main reason for it is to make the schools look good, and get a better salary. Yet...

Even in school, lessons CAN BE learned. Below is a list of random 'facts' true to the world, which don't exactly relate to academics. All of these things have really been said, or really happened.

1. Flamingos are really gay ducks.
2. A girl is lucky if she gets hit by doors as often as by guys.
3. On the other hand, a girl is also lucky if doors hit her more often than guys…depending on whether they want a boyfriend or not.
4. Seeing a guy making rather disgusting sexual gestures, while speaking of Mexican food at the same time, is not very appealing.
5. Trying to take a picture of the above event would be considered porn, so you would be arrested for minor pornography.
6. Attempting to run up to a guy to hug him isn’t the best way to establish a friendship…or improve it, if he’s already your friend.
7. Realizing that your male friend’s voice will eventually change is quite a freaky thought.
8. Or, if his voice has already changed, and you just now realized it, then it’s utterly frightening.
9. “Which of these objects is alive?” is considered a good sample test question in Science.
10. Puffy Cheetos are actually great materials to use to make a camp fire; so if you’re lost in the woods, not only will you not starve to death, you won’t freeze to death either.
11. A math teacher who doesn’t know half the problems she originally gave out to the class, and then tells the class that they’re stupid for not knowing either, is not really a math teacher; she’s just a bitch. ~_~
12. It’s bad to give people hickies, as it’s liable to cause pain, and create a bruise.
13. Having a hickie on your chest, and showing it to some 7th graders in the middle of art class is just plain sickening.
14. Calling a lunch lady an “alien” is now considered a pun.
15. You can’t speak Spanish in math class, but you can in French class.
16. Hugging in the hallways is prohibited, though that doesn’t have to stop couples from giving ‘affection’ to one another.
17. It’s okay to keep old, about to fall about History textbooks, even when the book says that the US is still fighting in the Gulf War.
18. Naturally, the “married-with-three-children” police officer at your school can be seen hitting on the new, young AND single Home Ec. teacher.
19. The point of Home Ec. is not to learn how to cook or sew, but to learn that reading a textbook will answer all the questions to life.
20. “Pooh” is no longer just the loveable bear with Piglet and Christopher Robin, but can also be seen in your local toilet.

The purpose of these lessons? Prove that there is no innocence, or sanity in school. And that having three or more stink bombs blown up in the hallways in one day is the newest ideal trend.

THIS is the true vision of Junior High school.

2002-04-14T16:48:00.000-05:00

Parents suck. Friends rock.

Yup - that's my belief. ^_~

Tell me... is it fair that one's parents should suddenly decide to restrict the amount of time one can spend online? Phef; I don't. ~_~ My parents believe that I'm addicted to the internet, and so want to limit the amount of time I can go on. For today.. two hours. >.> I'm sorry, mum, dad, but when I have to post in RPGs, write in my blog (though you two don't know about it, thank god X.x), AND try to chat with my really good friends, two hours is not enough. So stop being a bunch of asses, please? You ARE making my life miserable.. *sigh* You're trying to control me NOW, when I'm 14.. try doing that at least five years ago next time, hm? >_@

Meanwhile, on the bright side... Sin is DA goddess! She made me a layout for the blog! *_* It's pretty, with pink! And trust me, that takes talent! ^_^ So she's awesome! And this isn't the first time that she's made a layout for me... so she is nice. Tres nice. ^^ Go to her blog at the column side thingy! ^_~

Well... *sigh* If only my parents would give me more freedom.. and if only I could meet my online friends! ;__;

2002-04-10T18:40:00.000-05:00

take the death quiz.

and go to mewing.net. laura = great.

Oh.. GREAT. >.> I'm going to be murdered. *siighs*

Yar, I'm not in the best mood today.. am really just kinda tired. Makeup work zaps my energy away.. EVIL! ;-; And I'm working on a Holocaust report right now.. so depressing thinking is at work now. ~_~ Though hey, once I get it done, then it'll be done! That would then mean that I'm FREE! @_@ Well, not literally, but in a mental sense...

Mebbe I'll get good grades on my report card, so it'll please my parents... mebbe then they would get me a present! ;.; I like getting treats!

2002-04-09T17:30:00.000-05:00

Well, I ended up not going to school on Thursday.. finally went on Friday, to be smacked with lots of make up work. However, my illness relasped, and I stayed home yesterday.. came back today, and got smacked with MORE makeup work. @_@ God, I hate school. And I probably won't make this entry long. >.>

See what Care Bear you are.

Meanwhile, I took this test... ^_^;; Freaky, ne?

2002-04-03T19:02:00.000-06:00

I hate being sick. O_o Missed the past two days of school... the last time I was sick was about, oh.. two years ago? Yah, I am amazing, but so much for my perfect healthy record. >.> I hate illness.

All started on Monday.. there was no school, as it was holiday. I woke up with a sore throat, but then ignored it. I then practically had a nervous breakdown from trying to finish up my History report, and this outline for my Holocaust report.. I did finish them though. 'Course, I was really feeling depressed right when I went to bed, as I was informed of something about one of my friends - what doesn't need to be told. >.> Just is depressing. I noticed though that I couldn’t go to sleep though.. at least not until nearly midnightish. I just thought that I was getting too worried about what my friend told me.

Tuesday morning comes along… at 4:50 in the morning. I wake up feeling extremely hot, yet chills race down my body constantly. I’m also nearly tempted to scream in pain whenever I cough. -_- This goes on until 7, when my grandmother comes in to ‘wake me up’ (both my parents are in England right now). She feels my forehead and neck, and says I have a fever. I chose to stay home. So for the whole day, I wasted myself away, watching all the freakin’ episodes with Fuu and Ferio from Magic Knight Rayearth (Damn I love that couple! *^_^*) , the last three episodes of Escaflowne (one of my favorite Anime series ^^;;) along with the Moulin Rouge movie.

I then fell asleep at 7 PM… only to then wake up at 9 PM. >_< And I felt as though as if I had slept till Wednesday. Decided to watch the news until 10 PM, and finally was able to get back to sleep. I made a vow to myself that I’d go to school the next day, even if I still wasn’t feeling well.

…Well, I’m still at home feeling utterly miserable, and am going to have an ungodly amount of homework to catch up on—so there’s me when it comes to keeping personal goals Oo;. I probably would’ve passed out if I went, as I feel so faint whenever I’m standing.. or sitting up. ~_~ So, for today, I just played Legend of Zelda. Joy.

God, I really hope that I’ll be better to go to school tomorrow… *coughs – AAH!* ;.; Dang, it hurts when I cough or sneeze.. ;_;

2002-03-29T17:59:00.000-06:00

"post in your damn blog. night night"

Advice from my best friend in Scotland. ^_^;; Tis nearly midnight for her, hence the reason for the night night statement. Well, it's been nine days, and I should er, 'update' my blog! ^^;;

Today's topic is god moding. Yes, my friends, god moding, when it comes to RPGs. Why I suddenly decide to bring this up is from an arguement with a friend, who accuses another one of my friends of doing so. I don't want to list names, so let's list the accuser as #1, and the accused as #2. There, no confusion will be made. ;p

It all started one day at school.. #1 goes to the same school as I, and in fact, we are close friends. Yet one day, #1 said that she hated #2. Why? God moding! She believed that #2's character was acting 'too powerful', as the character (a male) was not getting hit by #1's character's attack. I don't believe in this. Why (yes, always why)? Let's see!

1) --- #1's character is badly injured from an earlier fight; #2's character only has a scratch, as the character just started this new fight. So logically, #2's character would have more advantage in the battle, and also, be more likely to dodge attacks.

2) --- #1's character's attacks focus on this style of fighting: one hit, and the battle ends. Example being that the main attack #1's character has focused on was paralysis. Well, if #2's character had gotten hit by such an attack, WHAM!--battle is over. And wouldn't THAT be god moding on #1's part. Hmm.. interesting perspective.

*sigh* Okay, maybe that was too much. But.. I'm really kinda depressed right now. One of my very good friends (yes, #1) is kinda getting mad at me for things I don't mean to do. And some of it involves friend #2. -_-;; So generally, I'm very tired of it all. >_<;; I'm confused, and I feel so hopeless! But.. *siighs* I'm trying to fix it, and that effort should be good enough for now.. x.x;;

I hope Sin-chan'll be okay; she went out of town today, and won't be back til Sunday. ;-; She's a really good online friend of mine (though she's not #1 or #2 ;p), and everything is so boring (insanity wise) without her. Besides.. she said she'd make me a layout for this blog! >.@;;;

Hmm.. maybe I'll go out, and try to buy an Anime DVD tonight: never know what you could find with $34 dollars! ^_^;;;

2002-03-20T21:22:00.000-06:00

Well dude! There ya go! Seven days later, I bother to make another entry!! e.e;; Gah, I'm so irresponsible...

Ahem.. well er...

Just put up a new layout for my RPG some few odd days ago. 'Tis an Alternative Realit based Sailormoon RPG-yeah, yeah.. lots of those things exist.. but mine is special! ;-; I've taken a lot of time in caring for it, and was kinda nervous at first, worried that it would die off after awhile. Well, it's still here! ^_^ And damn, it's kickin'!

Oh yeah, I'm a RPer - I play in RPGs. Currently, I'm in.. *counts* five, er, six RPGs? @.@;; Yah, that's a lot, those some of them have been dead for awhile, so they don't really count.. and I've played an ungodly amount of characters. e_e;; Though I'm NOT an addict to it! >.<;; My parents think I'm addicted to the internet, but it's not that.. I just enjoy RPing, and so want to spend lots of time posting and such..

..Maybe I am addicted. O_o;; *grumbles* Sometimes, my friends say I am to make fun of me, but I know I'm not! Besides, there's other things to be addicted to.. >:]

-_-;; Bleh, there's nothing else on my mind, so I'll stop blabbering - though hopefully, I'll try to make another entry sooner. e.e;; Can't slack off on this.. this is a erm - personal goal!! >_<

2002-03-13T22:32:00.000-06:00

I'm really not a person who would start something like a blog - I've tried keeping up with diaries in the past, all of which are now stored somewhere in my room.. not really a person for commitment. e.e;;

I am Virtue. Wow, three words explain so much. Oo;; Well, my 'full' alias is Bishoujo Virtue, but the 'Bishoujo' is usually forgotten after awhile; I just keep it to let people know that I'm female. I doubt that I'll be able to post daily with this thing, but since I do go online practically every single day, I just might be able to stay with this. O_o

'Twas Sin-chan that convinced me too.. er, well, I decided to do it on my own, but Sin-chan pushed me to actually doing it. She's even gonna create a layout for this place soon! ^_^ Sin-chan is da goddess when it comes to graphic-making. Also has created layouts for my RPG too. She's also one of my best friends. ^_~

Bleh.. I better figure out all of the controls for this blog thingy before I somehow screw it all up. c.c;